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ALF - 1989 - Sega

Enjoy the show, not this game!

Alf is a video game released for the Sega Master System and based off the sitcom.

Plot

Alf must locate pieces of his spaceship in order to return to his home planet.

Why it Sucks

  1. The FBI enemies look like creepy paedophiles
  2. The screen only moves when Alf is a third from the edge of the screen. This makes it very difficult to dodge obstacles, especially the bikers. Classic two gear diarrhea.
  3. One-Hit Deaths
  4. Only 3 lives and 1 continue
  5. There are no checkpoints- when you die you get placed back at the beginning of the area you're in
  6. Crouching is worthless because Alf's crouching sprite is almost the same height as his standing sprite.
  7. It's near-impossible for Alf to avoid enemies in the street section because both he and the bikers have a massive hitbox and everything is treated is if it were on a flat plane
  8. The FBI Agents would go inside the house, which is strange and ridiculous
  9. All the items in the in-game shop other than the ones required to beat the game only exist to make the game unwinnable when bought
  10. The infamous "Alf Book" which, when purchased, displays a block of text explaining the game's plot, some strange 4th-wall breaking story about the making of the game then kicks you back to the title screen after laughing at you about doing so
  11. The score counter is completely useless- you will get the same score at the end every time because it's based solely on the items needed to beat the game
  12. Another troll move by the developers happens when you reach the space station- You have absolutely have to buy the spacesuit to progress to the final part of the game. You can't return to an earlier point in the game to get more money if you don't have enough to buy the space suit because if you leave the shop without buying it, you die instantly.
  13. Nearly every part of the game (the cave, the lake, the street, going into space) is luck-based due to random enemy/projectile patterns and enemies that love to corner you in places where it's impossible to avoid them
  14. Alf's only form of attack is a stick of salami which he swings with almost zero range
  15. The bats in the cave section can kill you even during their death animation

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