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BabyHazel

"We have lots of friends and we're better than you!" - PBG

Baby Hazel Games are a series of edutainment point and click games from a company called Axis Entertainment. The games are available on 2 official sites, topbabygames.com and babyhazelgames.com, as well as IOS and Android.

Gameplay

By dragging items and stuff, you have to try and make Baby Hazel happy Through a series of levels. There are usually 4 levels, each lasting 3 mins long. If Baby Hazel's happiness bar goes down, she will start crying. The game ends if you have either beaten all 4 levels or made her cry if her happiness bar is all gone, or the time runs out.

Why they suck

  1. The gameplay is simplistic and very boring. Every game in this series is the same thing, pointing and clicking on things. Sometimes it's very glitchy too.
  2. Poor graphics and awful designs.
  3. Baby Hazel looks like a Demonic Devil Spawn from the deepest depths of hell.
  4. The games overuse copyrighted characters like Mickey Mouse and Hello Kitty. In fact, there's even a Baby Hazel game where she goes to "Disneyland", which is in name only because it looks nothing like the real Disneyland.
  5. Baby Hazel herself is extremely annoying and very impatient. Even her younger brother, Baby Matt is annoying too. Even her friends and pets are too.
  6. Baby Hazel has a very, very annoying cry which never stops until you calm her down.
  7. One of the games actually has a 12+ rating on the App Store due to graphic content - in a KIDS game. (Which is a joke, because there is NOTHING graphic about it. She just has a belly ache and goes to the bathroom, and her defecating is not even shown.)
  8. Plagiarized music. Baby Hazel Fun Time steals music from The Sims 3. Baby Hazel at The Beach steals from Sonic Unleashed too. The music in the later games is also very generic and loops after a while. Also plagiarized sounds, as the game stole Darth Vader's breathing sound from Star Wars to use when she sleeps.
  9. Engrish. Yes, most of the English in this game is awful. They even have bad grammars like, “I want to drink a juice” and “What a fun” and even more.
  10. In some games, Baby Hazel speaks in a text to speech voice, which gives proof on how low budget they are, other times she speaks with baby babble, and rarely she speaks with an actual voice. Adding onto that, she is stated to be 2-3 years old, but she is very articulate which makes no sense.
  11. Character inconsistencies. Sometimes one of Hazel's friends will make fun of her for no reason. Even her pets will get angry for no reason.
  12. Baby Hazel is often unsupervised in situations where she should be! (e.g. letting her wander out in Africa, Disneyland, the Mall, parks or the beach.)
  13. The apps are incredibly slow and full of ads, especially if you are on your WiFi and iPad. Thankfully, you can pay to remove the ads, but who would do that?
  14. There are many design inconsistencies, especially with Baby Hazel's home, and recycled props. One time she buys a "teddy" that is really a Musical Learning Cow toy from Fisher-Price. Also, one of her pets is called Budgie, but he barely looks like one. Also, some of her pets have eyelashes despite being male. The designs are also sometimes stolen clipart, or crappy versions of copyrighted characters,
  15. Baby Hazel's room changes in every game, even her home, WHERE IS HER HOME ACTUALLY?
  16. Baby Hazel has way too many pets! She has a rabbit, three cats, three dogs, two birds and a fish. How is her house not full of animal feces?
  17. Baby Hazel's friends are often copy-pasted. Two girls have the same design of each other but one is a brunette while the other one is a redhead. Many of her friends disappear and reappear.
  18. Possible racism and inaccuracies, such as when Baby Hazel went to South Africa and encountered a tribe (despite the fact they had visited Cape Town, which is very modern) not only that, but she also encounters a bear and a monkey, and in reality, there are no monkeys or bears in South Africa.
  19. Baby Hazel can impossibly teleport things, (e.g. where she teleports the ball to Akito.)
  20. In one game Baby Hazel meets two of the Seven Dwarves who take her to the Fairy Tale world. How do they do it? By turning her into a fetus and making her be born as Snow White. WHAT THE HELL?!
  21. Most of the games are now just previewed at the site and to get the full experience you have to download the app and buy the events, either with the fake coins or diamonds they supply (which you still have to buy with actual money) or actual currency.
  22. You will always have to play as Baby Hazel in the games when there is a challenge. Not only that but she always wins every party game or tournament.

Redeeming Qualities

  1. Babies or Toddlers might get some enjoyment out of the series.
  2. You can turn Baby Hazel's annoying voice off.
  3. It's so bad it's good in the ridiculous sense.
  4. As the games come out Baby Hazel begins to speak with a regular kid's voice, and she isn’t just limited to simple words, she actually speaks.
  5. It's very tame compared to other baby games. Most medical games don't have too much gore.
  6. It uses mostly original characters as opposed to using copyrighted characters and making them pregnant or other things. (Sans using Disneyland or certain copyrighted images)
  7. As much of a brat as she can be, Hazel has done nice things such as buying her brother and family members presents, making parties for her friends, and mending wounds to animals.

Links

Click on these links to play the games. Both sites are official.

http://www.babyhazelgames.com/

http://www.topbabygames.com/