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Mineirinho Ultra Adventures (also known as Miner Ultra Adventures) is a computer game developed by someone for Steam in 2017 (2010, originally). The game stars Mineirinho in a strange adventure to an alien station in exchange for nothing. The game is known to be just a very, VERY badly-made advertisement from the Brazilian backer Dom Zelittu's (a restaurant in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil) and its creator has become a joke, swearing and deleting negative comments about the game. However, he later explained that it was his ex-girlfriend taking over his laptop and posing as him.

Why it Sucks

  1. Awful camera that is angled around 30 degrees left from where Mineirinho is actually facing, making it hard to line up jumps properly, see where you jump, and where enemies are.
  2. Collision detection and physics are ridiculously bad; Mineirinho slides though the scenery, his hat that he throws can instantly fasten to the wall, and finally, even stopped, if something is moving, it moves inexplicably.
  3. Mineirinho keeps attaching himself to objects in the game, and even more strikes the long distance.
  4. Sadistic level design combined with the awful controls, physics, and camera make the game extremely difficult and near unplayable.
  5. Levels 3 and 4 can easily be beaten by glitching through the floor and jumping infinitely due to being able to jump on a slanted surface.
  6. If you die once, you have the start the stage all over again.
  7. Obnoxious looping music.
  8. The graphics looked outdated like the game was going to be released for Windows 95. (Even Lego Island has way better graphics than this abomination, which is released in 1997.) In other note, the soundtrack is completely made in MIDI, despite the game being released in 2017. In fact, one of its' music sounds like something out of a DOOM Wad.
  9. On top of that, the music in the menu rips-off "Addicted to Love" by Robert Palmer, and in the first and fourth level rips-off the opening theme from Gilligan's Island.
  10. Bizarre dialogue, including the meme "Franguinho!" (Diminutive of "Chicken" in Portuguese)
  11. Every time Mineirinho gets hit he makes an annoying "ayayayay!" noise.
  12. Annoying Dubbing of Mineirinho, who can bring Bubsy a run for his money.
  13. Awful graphics and shading which makes everything look overly metallic.
  14. Mineirinho's model is frightening and his walking animation is creepy.
  15. It's easy to find sections of the levels that are obviously not rendered.
  16. Incredibly dumb ending, it's only a black screen with Mineirinho cartwheeling on the screen endlessly, followed by a phrase saying "You got it! Now everyone can eat at the best restaurant in the world!" in Portuguese.
  17. The game's executable appears as a Marvel game, which implies that the game is actually a hack from another game, although it was made in Blender.
  18. Despite being made in Brazil, the game is full of horrendous Portuguese and full of grammatical errors.
  19. Idiotic names for phases, "Super-Slip" and "Mega Mountain" and phases with even more stupid concepts.
  20. False advertisement. The game description says, without text changes, on Steam:' '"Very cool super mario 64 style game, many adventures and exploration in the 3d world, based on great titles that have been very successful: Super Mario 64, Gex, Crash Bandicoot, Conker's Bad Fur Day!!!"
  21. It directly uses Steam Trading Cards as a selling point. A dead giveaway that this game is shovelware meant for farming cards.
  22. The developer quote mined reviews to make them seem positive on the Steam store page. One of the quotes is literally Jim Sterling quoting the developer. In other words, the dev is quoting himself.
  23. Its creator remembers Digital Homicide Studios, banishing and cursing negative comments like a 3-year-old child. However it was later found out that it was actually his ex-girlfriend.
  24. The game only requires 1024x768 or lower resolution to run, yet most of us use 1920x1080 monitors, games today must meet our preferred resolution. This issue also occurs in its' sequel, Miner Ultra Shooter.
  25. Miner actually looks more like a farmer than a actual miner.
  26. How does junk food give you power-ups? Despite the game supposedly promoting a fast food restaurant.
  27. Believe it or not, the game is also outdated due to it being originally released in 2010 in the trivia below.

The Only Redeeming Quality

  1. Due to how broken and easy to glitch the game is, it is a decent option to speedrun assuming you can handle horribly slippery controls.

Trivia

The game was actually released around 2010 and has won many Blender competitions however it was widely unknown except for long-time Blender users until 2017 due to the brokenness of the game or how the creator behaved towards critics. The former which is why the game is outdated.

Videos

Miner Ultra Adventures Any% 19 0619:23

Miner Ultra Adventures Any% 19 06

Miner Ultra Adventures - THE PERFECT GAME08:49

Miner Ultra Adventures - THE PERFECT GAME

Miner Ultra Adventures (PC Steam, 2017)10:27

Miner Ultra Adventures (PC Steam, 2017)

Miner Ultra Adventures- The Dark Side of Steam14:38

Miner Ultra Adventures- The Dark Side of Steam

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