Ride to Hell: Retribution is a 2013 action adventure video game released for the PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, and PC. It was developed by Eutechnyx and published by Deep Silver.
The game takes place in 1969. The main character is Jake Conway, a Vietnam War veteran out to avenge the death of his brother at the hands of a gang known as the Devil's Hand.
Why It Sucks
- Poor First Impression: The game opens with Jake using a turret, driving his motorcycle, and getting into a QTE fist fight. The whole sequence jumps back and forth, has no set-up and shows a cutscene (Jake kills Colt, see 14) that was spoiled later in the game.
- Numerous bugs and glitches (i.e. Jake will occasionally walk upside down). They become worse in vehicle sections where parts of the scenery disappearing, your bike appearing outside barriers, suddenly warping forward and falling through the road into limbo.
- The game's graphics are very poor with some gamers and critics comparing the graphics to original Xbox or even lower.
- Lazy puppet-like character animations. No character has any face animation.
- Jake's actions in the game make him a borderline criminal.
- The voice acting and dialogue is extremely poor; To quote Angry Joe, "It's as if the lines were recorded in the bathroom of the studio by unpaid interns!" And DXFan619, "the voice acting was recorded via tin-can walkie-talkies." The most infamous line is spoken by Carlos: "Oh sooky sooky, oh wow".
- The PC version itself was simply a console port of the 360 version. As a result, there were no video settings to change the game's resolution and graphics settings to get rid of the game's horrible texture pop-ups and also, the horrible control scheme for the PC port can't be re-mapped. Example: you press f(1-12) buttons when scrolling through the menu.
- Poor and unfinished sound design- many cut scenes are dead silent other than the characters' voice and inconsistent sound effects. The conversation between Jake and Mikey on a bike was a prime example of this.
- Awkward and disjointed cutscenes. For example, when Colt saw Mikey wearing the vest the game jumps to Jake and Mikey being pursued by the Devil's Hand bikers. After the pursuit section, it jumps to them got cornered by the bikers without any transition.
- The game randomly freezes/crashes.
- Misogyny - Women in the game exist only to be rescued and to reward Jake with sex in cutscenes immediately after with no transition. These cutscenes are infamous for their hilariously poor animation (the character models clip through each other and being emotionless(see 4)) as well as the fact they remain fully-clothed throughout instead of being nude.
- The game is also insulting to bikers as they are portrayed as idiots and rapists who kill people because they don't like them.
- Many of the enemies you kill have nothing to do with the Devil's Hand (i.e. cops, truckers).
- There are 37 missions which are criticized for being boring and repetitive as well as the game does such a poor job to tell you objectives. In the mission where Colt is the level's boss, the screen shows the text "all enemies are dead" while Colt is firing from a machine gun turret.
- Linear environments. The game was originally supposed to be open world but due to a troubled development they had to make do with what they had and instead made every driving section "go from point A to point B". There are invisible walls that wrote "Wrong way, turn back" that prevents you from exploring areas beyond when moving around outdoors.
- Sloppy driving physics. Your bike steers like it's riding on ice, you can drift almost indefinitely and on gamepads, the speed boost is mapped to clicking the left thumbstick. Your bike also stops still when hitting traffic at full speed.
- Poor enemy A.I.- Enemies don't take cover and melee enemies will opt to just bumrush you in shooting sections as well as can get stuck on walls and shooting in random directions. Sometimes they ignore you completely.
- Enemies are bullet sponges that take forever to kill unless you headshot them. To make matters worse some enemies wear hockey masks that make them immune to headshots because plastic masks are somehow bulletproof!
- Ear-bleedingly awful and repetitive soundtrack (with the exception of Rival Sons' Pressure and Time that plays in the intro and main menu).
- Melee combat is so basic and broken that you can defeat every enemy by spamming the block-breaking kick, occasionally Jake goes into rage mode where it becomes QTE fistfights.
- The camera is poorly located to where Jake is always to the left of the screen.
- Shooting is also broken due to the stiff aiming and jerky camera, plus enemies don't react to being shot at all unless you shoot them in the head, which is an instant kill and makes the game go into bullet-time whenever you get a headshot.
- The only challenge in the driving sections is to not crash and you are not allowed to turn back, otherwise, the game forcefully restarts you at a checkpoint on road.
- It has some of the worst driving and shooting stages ever made. During these stages, Jake drives in slow motion and must shoot an enemy biker until he dies. Because of the game's horrible and buggy design, even if you kill them, they can still drive and not crash for a time while Jake is still in slow motion, dragging the game on further than it needs.
- Motorcycle combat is repetitive because every enemy does the same thing- drive up beside you, initiate a QTE, you kill them and shove them off the bike, causing the bike to fly off to the side and explode with the same animation and sound EVERY TIME.
- Whenever you made a mistake three times in the bike sections, the bike careens off to the right and explode for no reason than just showing Jake falling off the bike because they were lazy to make animations for it.
- Lazy and copypasted character models. An example of this was the prostitutes you saved throughout the game.
- Stupid and drawn-out level design. In one instance, Jake must deactivate an electric fence that he needs to climb over. To do this, he steals a truck after killing some innocent truckers, drives miles away to the power plant while killing cops, kills all the workers there, shoots the truck from a distance away and blows up the entire plant. All that... just to deactivate an electric fence.
- The story itself does not make any sense. It basically boils down to "kill the next gang member". And every single time, the gang member flees to 2 or 3 new hideouts to shamelessly pad out the game.
- Many characters are generic and unlikeable being nothing more than just stereotypes such as the women in this game (who are either damsels in distress or in some cases strippers), Carlos the hippie (who just so happens to be a drug dealer) and the biker gang characters themselves (including Jake, the game's protagonist).
- Has a DLC that isn't any better than the vanilla game.
Aggregating review websites GameRankings and Metacritic gave the Xbox 360 version 15.00% and 19/100, the PC version 12.00% and 16/100 and the PlayStation 3 version of 10.00% and 13/100. it topped many #1 of worst games of 2013 lists and was called the newest candidate for WORST GAME OF ALL TIME!
The treatment of women was raised in Phil Iwaniuk's review for Official PlayStation Magazine (UK), as well as criticising the same gameplay and technical aspects as other reviewers, Iwaniuk called the game "obnoxiously misogynistic".
EGM said "Other games may have offered less content for more money or come up shorter in specific, individual areas, but I don’t think there’s ever been a game that does so many things so universally poorly" and scored it 0.5/10, with the only positive remarks being about the pause menu.
Dan Ryckert of Game Informer said, "With the exception of some Kinect and Wii games that flat-out don’t work, this is the worst video game I’ve played this console generation."
In the game's first review, Steve Hannley of Hardcore Gamer gave it a 1/5, calling it an "offensive abomination of a game."
Giant Bomb awarded it the Worst Game of 2013.
Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw of Escapist Magazine's Zero Punctuation gave it the "Zero Punctuation Lifetime Achievement Award for Total Abhorrence" expressing that it was so poor in quality that he hardly considered it a game, although in his earlier review of the game he still recommended viewers to buy it, calling it the kind of "So Bad It's Good" that has to be experienced to be believed.
Similarly, ProJared also listed this game as the 1st on his own Top 10 Worst Game of 2013 list. Three years later, he gave the game a "fully clothed Barbie and Ken dolls dry humping out of 10", stating that while most bad games have bugs, less polished and less playable, this game has something that other bad games aren't: offensive. At the end of the review, he said 'the game is so bad, even the cops in it want out.
Angry Joe gave it a 1 out of 10, stating that the game's sole function is to hurt your soul. He's also listed this game as the 1st of his Worst Game of 2013 list.
Ride to Hell was originally intended to be a new franchise, with two more games planned "Ride to Hell: Route 666 and "Ride to Hell: Beatdown" which were promptly canceled after the game's disastrous reception.
On September 14, 2014, Ride to Hell was delisted from Steam.